Medical School: A Survival Guide - Part 4

Apologies for the lateness of this post, what with being a whole week late. Last week was, if you happen to have forgotten because you're a loveless monster with no regard for happiness, Halloween; the best not-really-a-holiday of the year. Now I could do the usual "let's review a classic horror movie that's been done to death a million times over", but *sharp exhalation of breath indicating both exasperation and can't-be-fuckeditude*, so...nah. Instead, to commemorate the occasion, I thought I'd share with you some insider gossip on the creepiest and kookiest part of my course: anatomy dissection. It's quite a mysterious practice, not helped in any way by the small number of universities which actually have it available, so let me lead you through the strange world of cutting up dead folks.

Here be I demonstrating my prowess to a gathering of identical bearded clones.

Here's the obligatory links to parts 1, 2 and 3; let's do this.

Medical School: A Survival Guide - Part 3

Ah, summer. What a wonderful time of year. Everything is green and smells nice and you can't stop sweating because why the fuck is it so hot? I'm boiling all the time. C'mon, Scotland, sort yourself out. You're meant to be able to freeze the balls off a brass...statue...of...balls? Nope, lost that one.

Balls.

Sadly for any of those unlucky enough to have ended up in higher education, summer also means waiting for the results from those oh-so-special exams that you did a couple of months ago; and ain't waiting for news on whether or not you still have a future just dandy. Now almost every single one of us will have sat an exam in the past (unless you're lucky enough to be of the special few who only need to remember how to put your helmet on and not to bite your tongue. Hey, silver linings), so I'll try and focus specifically on what new horrifying additions medicine adds to the formula and, for the third time, why you should never ever ever study this awful cesspool of a course.

Medical School: A Survival Guide - Part 2

Hello, dear reader, and welcome to the second volume in my handy medical school survival guide. What delight is to come next in our exodus into the deep chasm of textbooks and panic sweat that is medicine, wherein no light or hope shall ever escape?

Replace hope with a solid bowel movement and you're talking about Jimmy Chung's.

Well we've already made it as far as the actual medical school so the next thing you're likely to encounter is the thing I touched very briefly on last time:

Medical School: A Survival Guide - Part 1

You, yes you! Are you interested in a career in medicine? Are you interested in knowing more about medicine? Or being a medical student? Are you simply a regular reader of this blog? Are you lost and slightly confused by this sudden and unwarranted barrage of questions? Do you require medical assistance?

If so then sit down, apply pressure to your gaping wound and read on, the magical healing properties of my amazing literary prowess shall tend to you as I give you a whirlwind tour of the ups, the downs, the further downs, and the rock bottoms of choosing to do a medical degree, all divided into handy, deadline-filling chapters for your ease.

Medical school is hard. Like really hard. I think they use tungsten or something, definitely don't try biting it. There's long hours, tough material, strict rules and a very unusual collection of colleagues to deal with, so if you think you want to do it, it's best going in knowing the basics. I am, obviously, an expert seeing as I have survived a whole year, so listen to my every word and take it as gospel. There will be a test.

"Would you all pass your answer sheets back up to the front, please."

Without further ado, let us begin our endless journey into the fiery chasm of medical school. I'll be using my university as a template but I assume in my infinite knowledge that these things apply at least to every single other medical school in the world.