Film Facts 3b: Dying In Die Hard - Part 2

Hello, and welcome back to part two of our epic odyssey into the world of quantum immortality and action hero deaths. Last time, we looked at how many bullets it takes to chew up John McClane's fleshy carcass before he stops moving, and today we'll keep the festivities going by looking at more fun and interesting ways our favourite cop would have got himself eviscerated in a giant ball of fire and broken glass:

Film Facts 3a: Dying In Die Hard - Part 1

I learned a thing: the theory of quantum immortality. That is the most metal name ever and I'm totally shotgunning it for my cutesy pre-teen boy band. What it suggests is that, in a situation where a person (herein called the "experimenter", because who doesn't love toying with their own mortality for science?) has a 50:50 chance of survival like if you were to fire a half-loaded gun at your head Russian roulette-style, the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics would dictate that "a superposition of the experimenter [would] necessarily exist, regardless of how many iterations [of shooting yourself in the face] or how improbable the outcome [of not being shot in the face]".

Essentially from your own perspective you are incapable of dying, the only universe in which you can continue to experience anything being the one where you didn't die every single time. Sure, you'll have created hundreds of separate universes where your family have to come to terms with the loss of a child who committed suicide because they thought they were Neo but, dude, immortality.

Sadly we live in a universe where the Wachowski brothers didn't kill themselves after the first movie. Lol, the sequels are so shit.

The coolest thing about this theory though is that it explains why, in action movies, the hero manages to avoid insurmountable odds with nary a scratch on his/her perfectly sculpted sex-abs; we're watching a movie set in that single universe where every bullet and piece of shrapnel and stray throat-sized chicken bone misses, leaving only a trail of epic carnage and passers by to assume that this guy must be the luckiest bastard alive. But if that is true, how many other universes where our good guy gets eviscerated in five minutes by a hailstorm of ass-kick would there be? I aim to find out with the only movie that is fit for the job: Die Hard.

Die Hard!