Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Valentine's Day Cards for the Average Geek

Portal companion cube
Portal references: A surefire way to attract geeks.
Difficulty - 0/5
Duration - 0/5 (You literally just print it out and you're done, what more do you want?)

It's Valentine's Day in just over a week, ladies and gents. I hope you've all remembered to book that really fancy restaurant and get lots of flowers and cards and other high profit-margin items to give to your better half to prove your undying devotion to the capitalist giants that dictate our every waking thought and action.

reusable shopping bag
The slogans on some of the bags for life are unnervingly appropriate.
If you've forgotten to do all of those things then I've got good news for you: there's always McDonald's. For the other small matter of finding the right way to tell them you care I've taken the time to compile some completely original (and not already over-used) geek-themed Valentine's Day card designs for you to print out and lovingly shove in your boy/girlfriend's face. They're watermark-free seeing as I've essentially just spliced licensed properties into cheesy jokes, however please be nice and don't straight up nick them to pretend that you're as funny and charming and well-endowed as me; all I ask is for recognition of my genius.

You'll find a download link and a classic Ben-quip [patent pending] to put inside the card underneath each image so go, spread your feelings (and my designs, yay) like so many love-juice based illnesses:

valentines day geek star wars
Enough of this Tarkin and TIE me down already.
valentines day geek alien egg
I'm pregnant.
valentines day geek tetris
The dildo wasn't.
valentines day geek kirby
valentines day geek HAL 2001 space odyssey
Every breath you take, every move you make...
I'll be watching.
valentines day geek link heart zelda
Time passes, people move... Like a river's flow, it never ends. A childish mind will turn to noble ambition...
Young love will become deep affection... The clear water's surface reflects growth.
valentines day geek serotonin dopamine
Dopamine and Serotonin; the only things that really love me.
valentines day geek ice climber
There's totally room on that platform for the two of them...
valentines day geek hypnotoad futurama
valentines day geek metroid lionel richie
Hello, My Love. This is Just For You. Do It To Me, All Night Long.
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.

No comments:

Post a Comment