|I would totally shell out for this brick, though.|
*I lied - this is never acceptable. Particularly if you're the one writing it; your update schedule is abysmal.
Blade Runner Whiskey Glasses
Price: £50 each
Congratulations! You are now old enough to not worry about being asked for ID when buying booze (unless your wallet has My Little Pony on it and you're sporting a neck beard, in which case the cashier might look at you funny and I will find you and I will get you). Why not celebrate by pouring your Midnight Hobo bourbon into these stunning glasses modelled after Deckard's in Blade Runner. Perhaps pair them with a set of DIY Game of Thrones Coasters?
Wooden Clapper Board
Price: £12 (Small), £16 (Large)
If you're as big a film fan as Ben is, no doubt you've always wanted a clapper board. Whether for shooting your own independent film in the garden or for decorating your living room (I'd put the film of the evening on it), they bring a bit of nostalgia into the experience.
Price: £20 (Part of Alien Vault Production Book)
Alien remains to this day one of my favourite films; I've already featured the infamous facehugger corset on An Honest Drug and I will forever be a fan of H. R. Giger's dark work. If you're looking to get some Xenomorph-themed art work into your home in preparation for the new, absolutely pants-shittingly-terrifying looking game coming out soon, my pick is the print of the Nostromo floor plan from the Alien Vault film production book. With this, you can plan out your own non-existent and inevitably failed escape route, because you'll never match up to Ripley.
Tron iPod Speakers
A nerd's wish list wouldn't be complete without a bit of fancy tech. Although LED lights get a bad rep for being beloved by zitty teenagers with pimped-out electronics boners, I think this iPod dock is classy enough in it's Tron-inspired design that it would be welcome in any adult nerd's home, blasting out the Star Wars theme at full volume.
Jareth may be every girl's sexual awakening, but Han Solo was my first puppy crush, not to mention the early influence Leia's iconic hairstyle had on me. There's no lack of Star Wars merchandise out there, and their now retro as well as classic status means they're becoming increasingly popular in aesthetics. My pick of the litter is these old-fashioned silhouettes of the most star-crossed of lovers (see what I did there?). If you don't like any of the versions Etsy has to offer, Doodlecraft has the silhouettes to make your own here. I might put them in a more traditional oval frame myself.
Aperture Science Cuff Links
Obviously you need a way to pay for all of this pointless junk, and that's where work comes in; too bad it's boring. Liven up your work attire with these subtly sciency cuff links, which you can look at as you slowly decay in front of your cubicle's computer screen, brokenly whispering to yourself, "I am an individual..."
Batman Motorcycle Helmet
I'm ignoring my own brief here, there is absolutely nothing subtle or classy about this.
You are Batman.
It's over to you, readers; do you have any grown up geek chic recommendations? Let us know in the comments.