Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Le Geek: Classy Nerd Merchandise

One of the main reasons I don't indulge in many of the trappings of geek culture is due to how horrendously tacky it can be. Maybe it's because of the perception of comic and sci-fi fans being overgrown man-children who obsess over how much of a real geek they and others are (or just children), but everything seems to be cheap plastic designed to do nothing more but shout "Look at me! I'm a nerd! I like quirky nerd things!" Where's the taste? Quite frankly, it makes me suspect that geeks would empty their bank accounts for a brick if it had Link's face drawn on it with a Sharpie.

Troy community donald glover brick
I would totally shell out for this brick, though.
However, with the maturation of second wave geekdom (We're much like second wave feminism, but with more friends) combined with the growing acceptability of admitting that you like reading Ron Weasly/Sephiroth slash fic*, businesses are finally clocking that nerds want more than tacky model Millenium Falcons to decorate their homes and persons with, and that these nerds have much disposable income. The result is some classy, understated nods to our favourite cultural icons that should be the cornerstone of any geek's growing collection, my favourites of which are compiled below:

*I lied - this is never acceptable. Particularly if you're the one writing it; your update schedule is abysmal.

Blade runner Deckard whiskey glass

Blade Runner Whiskey Glasses

Price: £50 each

Congratulations! You are now old enough to not worry about being asked for ID when buying booze (unless your wallet has My Little Pony on it and you're sporting a neck beard, in which case the cashier might look at you funny and I will find you and I will get you). Why not celebrate by pouring your Midnight Hobo bourbon into these stunning glasses modelled after Deckard's in Blade Runner. Perhaps pair them with a set of DIY Game of Thrones Coasters?

Debenhams wooden clapper board

Wooden Clapper Board

Price: £12 (Small), £16 (Large)

If you're as big a film fan as Ben is, no doubt you've always wanted a clapper board. Whether for shooting your own independent film in the garden or for decorating your living room (I'd put the film of the evening on it), they bring a bit of nostalgia into the experience.

nostromo alien vault floor plan blueprint printNostromo Blueprint

Price: £20 (Part of Alien Vault Production Book)

Alien remains to this day one of my favourite films; I've already featured the infamous facehugger corset on An Honest Drug and I will forever be a fan of H. R. Giger's dark work. If you're looking to get some Xenomorph-themed art work into your home in preparation for the new, absolutely pants-shittingly-terrifying looking game coming out soon, my pick is the print of the Nostromo floor plan from the Alien Vault film production book. With this, you can plan out your own non-existent and inevitably failed escape route, because you'll never match up to Ripley.

monster tron light disc ipod dock speaker

Tron iPod Speakers

Price: £250

A nerd's wish list wouldn't be complete without a bit of fancy tech. Although LED lights get a bad rep for being beloved by zitty teenagers with pimped-out electronics boners, I think this iPod dock is classy enough in it's Tron-inspired design that it would be welcome in any adult nerd's home, blasting out the Star Wars theme at full volume. 

Star Wars Silhouettes

Price: £18/Free

Jareth may be every girl's sexual awakening, but Han Solo was my first puppy crush, not to mention the early influence Leia's iconic hairstyle had on me. There's no lack of Star Wars merchandise out there, and their now retro as well as classic status means they're becoming increasingly popular in aesthetics. My pick of the litter is these old-fashioned silhouettes of the most star-crossed of lovers (see what I did there?). If you don't like any of the versions Etsy has to offer, Doodlecraft has the silhouettes to make your own here. I might put them in a more traditional oval frame myself.

aperture science portal valve cuff links

Aperture Science Cuff Links

Price: £12

Obviously you need a way to pay for all of this pointless junk, and that's where work comes in; too bad it's boring. Liven up your work attire with these subtly sciency cuff links, which you can look at as you slowly decay in front of your cubicle's computer screen, brokenly whispering to yourself, "I am an individual..."

helmet dawg batman motorcycle helmet

Batman Motorcycle Helmet

Price: £190

I'm ignoring my own brief here, there is absolutely nothing subtle or classy about this.

You are Batman.

It's over to you, readers; do you have any grown up geek chic recommendations? Let us know in the comments.

1 comment:

  1. the only one I own is the clapperboard. AND NOW I MUST HAVE THE REST DAMMIT.