|Don't let the shoestring budget-porn poster fool you.|
|Obligatory gothic-horror "character holding an oil lamp in a dank cellar" moment? Check.|
|I pretty much exclusively know this actor as that guy who always tilts his head when he acts.|
|When a lady convulses when you touch her, it probably means no. Unless under very particular circumstances.|
|As good as any film that gives Michael Caine the same number of lines as a character who |
believes he is a horse could hope to be.
Overall Ben Equivalence Rating
A Starbucks Hot Chocolate - Well presented and reasonably enjoyable but inherently flawed, leaving you with a metallic taste in your mouth and the wonder as to whether you really actually liked it.